Top 10 random quotes from the time I turned 30

1. They ran out of cake, so I got you cakeballs. 2. Don't do what I did when I turned 30. Note: this meant get pregnant. 3. You look like Shirley Temple, and not a day over 21. 4. Since there aren't any straight black men here, I'll just fill in for now. Note: said by a gay black man. 5. Judging by your ass you're only 25. 6. I hope you're wearing a dress to your party and not pants. Note: said by a 90 year old woman who likes to call herself my grandmother. 7. My wish for you is to find a husband. 8. We got you something we knew you'd appreciate. Money. 9. This fried ice cream tastes too fried. Note: who says that? 10. If you ever want to have kids, now would be the time.